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2.15.2008

Return Babies - is adoption becoming like shopping?

Return Babies, Queue Here!-the case of Polish Baby X
Does adoption have a return policy?

Have you ever thought about adopting a baby? What do you think it would be like?
With the natural parenting it is generally assumed that the love for one's child happens automatically, as a result of instinct and hormones and whatnot. If a natural mother finds it hard to relate to her new baby, it's attributed to her hormones being out of whack after the delivery. So, if it's all chemistry and glands, how come the adoptive parents aren't given shots to make them love their new baby better?

Adoption is always being compared with natural parenthood, but the truth is, it is a lot more like marriage. You have to make the conscious effort to build this relationship - day after day after day.
Just like the marriage, adoption is a social contract. It begs the question - can there be a divorce?


Our presenter, Roberto, wanted us to discuss a case of a couple who gave back a baby they have adopted, after finding out the boy was autistic. The court allowed that after it was found out that the adoption agency knew about it but tried to hide it from prospective parents. However, they have to pay for the child's support until he's of age.

  • What was the morally correct thing to do?
  • Can babies be treated as a product, with a two week return policy? After all, adoptive parents are made to pay large fees for the process.
  • Natural parents don't have these kinds of choices, if they find out their baby is disabled, they are expected to accept it. Why should adoptive parenthood be any different?
  • How can you abandon an autistic kid to the system which wasn't taking proper care of him in the first place, knowing he would probably never have another chance at a family?
  • On the other hand, if you know you can't cope, isn't it fairer to back out now, while the damage is still relatively small, than to fail later?
Please, share your thoughts and experiences.

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